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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the comfort zone for daily publications, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and milestones, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to discover that an online journalist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs within his residence. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity playing for City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college for toilet purposes back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled through the school like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women's major tournament coverage concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|